Late Thoughts

I am not even sure what I am planning on writing right now. It is late and I want to go to sleep but sleep has eluded me. Last week was a hard week for me. I woke up every morning, feeling as though I didn't quite get enough sleep, and went to bed each night wishing I had gotten into be sooner. I hate being exhausted because my emotions are often on edge. I feel so very vulnerable and the enemy/satan loves to have a hay day with my thoughts. I think that is the biggest battle that I face. The battle of my mind. And I often feel as though I am on the losing side.

I wish sometimes that I could just get away from everything that makes me worry, from my conflicting thoughts, from conflicting relationships. I hate confrontation, but it seems to be my friend as of late, and the only way to ultimately bring peace. So I try to face it bravely and courageously, but I am no where near where I want to be. I want to give up but I care too much.

This morning I danced for a special at my church. I often have songs that I have to fight with and this was one of them. I was not getting any choreography and that made me very nervous. I had a couple hours to practice on Friday- but nothing came. I just felt led to pray instead of actually dancing during that practice time. I finished memorizing the chapter in Psalms that I had to go with my dance, instead of actually working on the dance part. So I am not sure how well my actual dance was this morning, but I know my speaking forth the Bible at the beginning was powerful.

Ah! I think I need to try to sleep again. I don't want to start the week out tired.

This is a depressing blog, which often is the case for "late night I can't sleep" blogs. But tomorrow is a new day, and new things can happen. God is always good, and is always looking out for me. I have no idea where I would be without Him. Nor do I know how people can go through life without Him there with them. Thank you God for all you have done for me! And all you are going to do! And also for two hour naps!