Insight into Hillary

The last few months I have found out a lot about myself. One thing is how I communicate. I wanted to explain to my friends and family (unless you have already figured this out) so that you can better understand me.

It is rather simple really... I always want to talk about deeper things, or more precisely how I am doing in or feeling about certain things or issues. But often I can't just jump in and start talking- I need to be asked. There are so many times when I want to approach a subject with someone, but I don't know how to begin. But if people want to know my thoughts or feelings then if asked specific questions I will usually just jump in and explain. I don't know why it is this way for me. Perhaps because there was such a long period of years in my life that I just didn't talk about how I was feeling at all. Now there are so many times when I want to jump in and tell people. Of course I still need to work on this- I don't want to throw the ball in everyone else's court. But it is nice to be asked, and nice to have people care. I am trying more myself and to ask how people are really doing as well.

A lot of times it is hard for me to explain what I am feeling and thinking, I am pleased with my friends Mike and Katy because they usually ask me more specific questions when they can tell I am having trouble coming up with the words.

I think some people think I am quiet and don't want to share and talk- but I do! I have realized in the last six months how much I love to talk about things that matter. Good conversation is like an amazing 5 course meal to me. I want to talk about God and friendship, relationships, what God is doing in peoples lives, and people's dreams and desires, hopes and fears, even struggles and hardships are good- because then I can try to help.

It is very interesting how God is working in my life. Communication and relationships is often something I have to work really hard at. To keep putting myself out there, to become vulnerable with people. But it is so worth it- God has in turn given me so many good friendships and relationships because of my desire and effort to be all I can be in these areas.

I would encourage others. Step out there! With people you know you can trust be friendly, talk deeply. Don't just stay on the superficial level. Go deeper with God and people. It is worth it.