While at the Cabin

The sun reflects off the water in a line that heads straight towards where I am sitting on the rickety dock. It is a beautiful afternoon, some parts of the lake are already encased in shadows, while other parts are still touched by the suns rays and have a reddish tint from the afternoon light.

The trees are stripped of their summer leaves, exposed, naked against the chill of the breezy november air.  As I sit here they look vulnerable as they stand, waiting for a blanket of snow to cover their barrenness. I am sitting here, with mittens, shoes and a fleece jacket, yet I too am cold. Exposed.

It is places like this where I feel the most open, the most vulnerable before my Creator Just as He lays bare the wilderness, He is causing me to lay bare my heart before Him, before others. It is so much easier to remain hidden, to keep my heart to myself. My mind thinks that's where it will be safe, secure from life's hardships and calamity. But deep inside I know that keeping my heart closed in relation to others is unhealthy. Because it is through others that I seem to find out who I really am. And it is through God that I find my true worth.

I am one who has dealt with many insecurities in Life, yet He counteracts them all, and in this still and quiet place. With the wind playing in my hair, I feel so very open and free to any possibility that God might have for me. New places, new relationships, my heart longs to be open and I want to let it be as free as it can. I think this place represents a conversation I had with a friend about what it means to have a pure heart before God, because of the way His creation so closely follows God's plan as the seasons change just as He directs. It is purity itself, as the trees seamlessly shed their leaves before the winter snow comes.  They stand exposed and open before He comes to cover their vulnerability.

I feel a calling, as I have felt for the last few months, a calling from God to come to the same vulnerable place as these trees. Where I lay everything bare, and keep my heart open. He is bringing me to a place of such honesty before Him that it might hurt a little before He comes in again to cover me with His presence, as He covers the barren trees with snow.

It is such an odd time in November, the transition period between fall and winter. Some people call it ugly. I used to be one of them. But as I sit here on this dock, contemplating the seasons, I find this place and time beautiful, enchanting, peaceful.

So I am.

I am at rest, anticipating what He is going to bring next in my life. I know it is coming. I am as certain of it as I am of the soon to be approaching winter's weather.