Early

It is funny how the mind works. I woke up at 5:30am this morning and couldn't fall asleep. Even though my body is still tired my mind is working at 1000 miles per minute. I have been trying to tell it to be quiet and to rest, but at this time it is doing neither. I turned some God music on, trying to think about God's love and have that ease my restlessness. He really is amazing. At this time of the morning the sun is in the perfect place to have the sunlight drift through the windows into my eyes.

Sometimes I think I might be the most selfish person on the face of the earth. I know that is not true, but there are times when I feel that way. Why can't I give up living for myself and worrying about myself and worry about other people? I feel as though that would be a much better use of my time. This morning my prayer is to have my head be silenced of all the worries. God can more than take care of me, yet I doubt His ability so often and try to work things out myself.

This fall most likely three of my best friends will be moving, one possibly a few hours away, two of them to the other side of the country. At first I thought I would be fine, but as the days grow closer to their departure I feel the weight of it. I used to be a person who had no close friends to rely on, God then brought people into my life, now I feel as though everyone closest to me is being removed from my life, and it hurts. It hurts more than I can say. I know God has a reason and a purpose, I just don't see it right now. But the one thing I am fully convinced of is that God is always good. So I just sit back and put on "How He Loves" and remember that He is working in my life.

(Think link for the song may not show up on Facebook- if you are reading this blog from there.)